Elon Musk, richer than God and therefore a trusted source of investment advice for mortals, has pivoted now to offer some sober advice about the dangers of meme currencies. He provides previously unshared information: Doge’s only tangible value is hype, and HODLers may reach price discovery and then realize they’ve gambled on the sustainability of a meme and sell sell sell! Oh. Anyway, that’s a little plausible deniability for when he shows up in a Shiba Inu suit on Saturday Night Live tomorrow, which means buy buy buy!
Last month, the lil scoundrel tweeted:
The Dogefather
SNL May 8
Last night, Musk sounded a bit more concerned that he needs to hedge on record, tweeting: “Cryptocurrency is promising, but please invest with caution!” (In the days following tweet one, Doge rose 94%.)
But, in typical Musk fashion, he’s linked a TMZ video of a warning, wink wink. (embedded below) Is it a warning? It is. Or is it? Here’s a rough play-by-play:
He starts in the danger zone:
TMZ: “Elon, do you think Dogecoin could be the next currency for the world?”
Musk: “Well there’s currently a pull to say what do you want?”
TMZ: “I want it to go, I’m in, I’m in.”
Musk: “Okay, so then, I think it should be the will of the people, ya know?”
Cogs turn:
TMZ: “Well, is there a problem because there’s a...because it’s not like Bitcoin with a limited number of coins, and it can just expand infinitely, do you think that brings away the value of the coin?
Musk: “Uhhh...yes, it does” [laughs]. “People should not invest their life savings in cryptocurrency, to be clear. I think that’s unwise.”
Somewhere, a lawyer’s heart flatlines:
Musk: “But if you want to sort of, you know, speculate, and kinda like, I dunno, maybe have some fun? There’s a good chance that crypto is the future currency of Earth. And then it’s like, well which one is it gonna be? And maybe it’ll be multiple.”
Capitulating...:
Musk: “But it should be considered speculation at this point. Don’t go too far on the crypto speculation part.”
🚨🚨 WRAP IT UP 🚨🚨:
Musk: “The point is that Dogecoin was invented as a joke, essentially to make fun of cryptocurrency. And that’s why—I think there’s like an argument, like fate loves irony. The most entertaining outcome is—what would be the most ironic outcome? That the currency invented as a joke in fact becomes the real currency.” [Shrugs]
TMZ: “Absolutely, to the moon!”
Musk: “To the moon!”
Voice behind the camera yelling: “My Dogecoin went up because you tweeted! You’re amazing!”
Musk slides into a jet-black Tesla.
Ass covered:
Man in crowd: “What do you think Elon, one more tweet?”
Musk: “Uh—well, like I said, don’t take too much risk on crypto!”
What a rollercoaster. Doge rose by about 10% in the dawn hours.
Today, Bloomberg reported on cryptocurrency analysts who are tiring of this dance, which they perceive as trivializing blockchain technology and providing unsophisticated investors an outlet for risk. Especially if, as BKCoin Capital founding principal Kevin Kang suggested, large investors dump right before the SNL appearance.
SNL cast members also expressed thinly veiled distaste about joking around with an obscenely wealthy shit-stirrer who illegally tweeted anti-union messaging, based on the NLRB’s finding that Musk’s tweet threatened employees, and whose company illegally fired an organizer for attempting to unionize after continuous reports of dangerous working conditions at his factories. SNL’s cast members have all opted to perform with him.
Will he exercise his right to remain silent? 53 million followers await.