Since man first struck a rock with a slightly smaller rock, technology has ostensibly served to improve our lives. Fast forward a few million years, and our dweeby $4,000 fridges with “superior organizational storage” will update us on the status of the robot vacuum (on or off). Wait, do I need a toilet to analyze my stool, you ask? What about one with a lighting system and built-in speakers, Kohler adds. It’s confusing, this endless series of solutions to modern problems, so much so that my colleague spent several days documenting his fraught relationship with a cat litter robot.
There’s crap at every turn: plug-in air bathroom fresheners pretending that matches aren’t a thing. The flow of water, dammed by fancy motion-activated sinks with 100% failure rates. Gizmos that don’t justify factory labor, like Ring doorbells. Cash-burning capsules launching rocket fuel-huffing billionaires with too much time on their hands. Keurigs, so help me god. Depending on who you are, you might love a few of the things on that list, and we can spend hours fighting about them.
The rampant divisiveness tech has wrought leaves no room for debate about things that are neither over- nor underrated. Why not focus on the tech that unites us, stuff that objectively sets out to complete a mission and does a fine job without begging for attention with push notifications? We’ve devoted this slideshow to bringing the nation together.
