Texas Accidentally Posts Amber Alerts for Chucky, the Killer Doll, and His Creepy Eunuch Son

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Chucky and his weird son Glen, who does not have genitals.
Chucky and his weird son Glen, who does not have genitals.
Screenshot: Texas Department of Public Safety/CBS Dallas-Fort Worth (Fair Use)

The Texas Department of Public Safety is blaming “a test malfunction” after it sent out an Amber Alert on Jan. 29 urging the public to be on the lookout not for a missing child but Chucky, the killer doll from the Child’s Play series.

For anyone who has somehow avoided learning what they are, Amber Alerts are messages sent out by police departments and other authorities via the internet, radio, TV, and text messages to provide the public with details of abducted children and their suspected captors. The intent of an Amber Alert is that if someone sees individuals matching the listed description, they call the cops. They are generally not used to warn the public that ambulatory toys with a thirst for blood are on the loose.

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According to CBS Dallas/Fort Worth, the alert named Chucky as the suspect in an abduction and described him as 28 years old, having red/auburn hair and blue eyes, standing at 3' 1", and weighing around 16 pounds. It also correctly stated he was wearing “Blue denim overalls with multi-colored striped long sleeve shirt wielding a huge kitchen knife.”

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Chucky is a serial killer who used voodoo magic to transfer himself into a doll matching that description in 1988, during the events of Child’s Play. According to the Child’s Play wiki, a surprisingly detailed site on the film series, Chucky is known to have killed at least 42 people between 1988 and 2017, not counting an unknown number of maids and R.V. owners he slaughtered offscreen or any killings he may have committed in the years between each film.

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The alert also identified the child Chucky had abducted as Glen, a five-year-old weighing six pounds, standing at 2' 3", and wearing a blue shirt with a black collar when he was reported missing.

Glen is Chucky’s son and first appeared in the 1998 movie Bride of Chucky. By the end of the 2004 movie Seed of Chucky, Glen had committed six murders, was confirmed to have no genitals (like a Ken doll), and at some point was turned into a human and possibly killed by Chucky’s severed arm, which actually fits with the whole Amber Alert thing. We’re learning all this at the same time as you.

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We haven’t seen anything past the first Child’s Play, but if you do see Chucky or his weird eunuch son, it’s probably a good idea not to approach either of them.

The alert went out three times, according to CBS, with Texas public safety officials telling reporters the alert was the “result of a test malfunction. We apologize for the confusion this may have caused and are diligently working to ensure this does not happen again.”

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The New York Times called a residential address listed as the last known location of Chucky and Glen and were issued an update on the situation:

The alert said that Chucky and Glen were last seen at a residential address in Henderson, Texas, a city about 130 miles southeast of Dallas. A woman who answered a call to a phone number associated with that address on Wednesday said, “Yes, I’m aware” when asked about the alert before hanging up.

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