Razer's Dumb Light-Up Visa Card for Gamers Is Proof This Timeline Is Cursed

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Image: Victoria Song/Gizmodo

Tech companies are really loving the idea of making credit cards. Apple did it, Google’s purportedly working on it, Samsung got on that train this summer, and just yesterday, Venmo announced it, too, making a card. But leave it to Razer to create the dumbest of them all: the Razer Card, a prepaid Visa cashback card that also lights up because, well, duh, it’s Razer.

The idea behind the Razer Card is to, as the press release would imply, appeal the Youths and Millennials via a “unique gamified rewards experience.” Supposedly this rewards experience isn’t the same as your typical loyalty rewards program. According to Razer, its version allows you to “track, score, and redeem rewards based on tasks and everyday transactions.” Which...sounds not that different from a typical reward program, but OK. The card itself will work in tandem with Razer Pay, and will receive 1% cash back for any purchase, with up to 5% cash back for RazerStore and Gold purchases.

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There are few ways you can get the card. There’s a digital version for e-wallets, a standard black card, and a premium card. The premium card is the one that lights up when you pay for no reason whatsoever. It should be noted, and this is possibly most important to Razer fans, the light-up card is not RGB. Digest this devastating news as you will.

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There are a few things to keep in mind, however. For starters, this extremely dumb card is only available in Singapore. So even if, for whatever reason, a dumb light-up Razer Card was something you wanted, ya can’t get one. Razer also hasn’t indicated whether it plans to bring the card to other countries. If you are in Singapore, the card is currently in beta and will be available to “1,337 selected users” through December 31 ahead of a public release. Yes, 1,337 users. While that corny-ass marketing in the year of our lord 2020 has destroyed my will to live, these lucky 1,337 beta users can get an extra 10% in cash back on RazerStore and Razer Gold purchases. There’s also, sigh, gamified tasks that can help you “level up” for a chance at $2,000 (in Singaporean dollars) in Razer gear. At least there’s no cash back cap, or seemingly any cap on Razer’s tolerance for cheese.

Cutting through the bullshit, if Razer’s true goal is to expand digital payments to the Youths, a prepaid card makes sense. For instance, you only have to be 16 years old to apply for the Razer Card. And as we all know, 16-year-olds are notoriously well known for financial literacy and fiscal responsibility. But at the very least, making the card prepaid would theoretically prevent a misguided youth from blowing all their cash on a sweet hoard of RGB Razer peripherals.

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Will the rampant fintech tie-ins ever end? Not likely. Cynically speaking, it’s convenient for users, and from a brand’s perspective, it’s a sticky way to keep loyal customers hooked on your ecosystem and services—and get valuable financial transaction data. But hey, at least this monstrosity lights up. Take that, Apple Card.

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